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Adam Gorightly
Adam Gorightly is an author, historian, and a musician who founded the Kooky Kallisti Kristian Go-Go Girl Bongo Broad Band. He is also a former secret agent. Early life Adam Gorightly was born as Adam Milkwood Thornley-Hill to historic filmaker Robert "Woody" Thornley and singer Mattie "Holy Milk" Hill at Manson Memorial Hospital in Thornhill, California. As a child he was active in his local Shamlicht Kids Club chapter, Black Moth's Nest, led by Monroe and Charlotte "Charlie" Manson. He soon developed an interest in writing, and wrote for the Ulysses-Franklin-Obama Junior High School newspaper U.F.O. News. He later became editor of the Simi Valley Santa Susana High School newpaper, the Simi Later. Thinking his birth name of Adam Milkwood Thornley-Hill odd, after high school he legally changed it to The Wrong Reverend Houdini Kundalini of the Church of Unwavering Indifference. As a publisher told him his name would be too long on a book cover to leave room for the title, he began using the much shorter pen name Adam Osama bin Laden. He finally changed it to Adam Gorightly because Adam Osama bin Laden could be mistaken for AOL. Writer-Historian After earning degrees in both history and journalism with a weather minor at Miskatonic University, he joined the United States Marines and was stationed at MCAS El Toro in Santa Ana, California where he met Edward Snowden. Together, the two produced a newsletter called I've Got a Secret. After his discharge, he began a career as a writer of historical documents for the United States Department of Truth before writing freelance. His notable works include The Shadow Over Santa Susana: A Study of Suburban Smog Patterns; The Prankster and the Conspiracy: The Biography of Richard M. Nixon; and Caught in the ''Crossfire: Why CNN Sucks''. As part of his work for the U.S. Department of Truth, he also complied The True History of Crackpot, Texas; and Historia Discordia: The History of Brainwashing America's Children and Why That's Important. Musician He also worked as a musician and music producer. In 2001 Gorightly formed and managed the Kooky Kallisti Kristian Go-Go Girl Bongo Broad Band (popularly known as KKK-GGG-BBB or KGB3). The group's album Psychedelic Secret Agent reached number 5 on the American charts. The band also produced several hit songs including "Go Go God," '"Kooky for Christ," "Jiggling for Jesus," "Why Do We Call Ourselves a Bongo Band when We Don't Play Bongos," and "While I Watched My Brother Dick's Beautiful Black Ball Roll Down Lane Number Five of Friendly Hills Lanes In Whittier California I Saw the Face of Jesus in the Shoelace of His Right Shoe and it Made Me Feel All Squishy Inside." Secret Agent In 2015, the band KGB3 was discovered to be a front for Gorightly's clandestine activities and he was exposed as a triple agent. He was working for not only the U.S. Department of Truth, but also for the American Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the Soviet Union's KGB MK-ULTRA Squad. While as an alleged FBI agent he had allegedly been secretly fluoridating water as part of an alleged plot to undermine public health to benefit the alleged American medical and drug industries, for the KGB Gorightly had also alegedly been secretly paid to pour packets of the psychotrophic drug LSD into America's water supply. The combination of the two explained not only the overwhelming success of the junk food and tobacco industries, but also the popularity of The Rush Limbaugh Show, The Jerry Springer Show, Duck Dynasty, and Fox News. Gorightly escaped prosecution as a triple agent first because the FBI denied knowing anything about flouride, and second because the KGB has been disbanded with the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991, 10 years before he started working for them. And the LSD he had allegedly been putting in America's water supply was discovered to have been virtually tasteless salt substitute packets designed for a "Low Salt Diet." Americans had watched the inane television programs not because of mind-altering drugs, but because of poor taste. In an interview with Fox News, Gorightly denied allegations he had used frequency modulation as soviet mind control, saying, "You got the wrong guy." He did speak about using the band KGB3 as a cover for being a triple agent. "I thought giving the band the initials KGB tripled would be so obvious that no one would notice it. But hey, no one did for over a decade. Still, I'll never use initials like that again." Radio disk jockey Because of his experience as a musician, Gorightly currently works as a disk jockey for the San Diego, California, radio station KGB-FM. . Category:Pope Category:Order of the Pineapple